One of the biggest lessons I'm learning lately is how not to be so hard on myself about the condition of my house. It's not a disaster, after all. No, it's not finished, it's not perfect, the guest room is still mostly boxes... but all in all, we're doing pretty well I think, especially for this being our FIRST home and we don't exactly have money for the 'perfect' furniture, let alone furniture that can be contorted into some form of usefulness.
It's hard for me to concede that houses should be lived in. I am always disappointed when I walk in and see things that are out of place. I still get dismayed about 'the state of things' when really, it usually would only take about 20 minutes of picking up to have things ready for company to come over - with the exception of the bedrooms and the office, but company wouldn't need to go in there.
I beat myself up over things that don't matter. So what about the pile of laundry? EVERYBODY has a pile of laundry! So I haven't entirely unpacked. Some people take YEARS to unpack! So what if the house isn't ready for a photo shoot. It's our first home, and it's my first house. It's not meant to be perfect.
All these people that I know and compare myself to...I need to stop doing that. I have peers who have it together better than I do. They got jobs faster, they got their first house faster, they don't have the worries we had when we first started out. They settled immediately, they got their artwork hung, they had all the right furniture. And no piles and boxes. Immediately.
I am not them. I have never been like them. I might not ever be like them.
I need to deal with this.
The pile of dishes are indicative of our living in our house. Ditto the laundry. Ditto the mis-aligned furniture and the piles of books and the stack of mail.
Yes, I have some bad habits to break. We all do. The thing is, I have a hard time remembering how far I've come. Floor space, if not visible, is always just a couple of minutes away. I'm finding things to sell or give away at a fairly rapid rate; I'm rediscovering things that I do love and will use.
I feel your pain. I am the same way about comparing myself to others, and then trying to shake myself back to reality. You just can't do that. We are all living our own unique experiences and it’s just not fair on anyone to do compare like that. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, some are visible, but most are not. We just need to be satisfied by doing the best we can with what we've got.
ReplyDeleteI end up in the same emotional place almost every day about the state of my house. But we are two parents working full time with two boys - 8 and 2 years old. It is a wonder that we accomplish what we do in a week and that the house is still standing never mind things being a little (or a lot) out of place. One day the boys will be grown and I'll have all the time in the world to clean up after them, but I won't have to and I'll miss it.
W