Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts

2.27.2013

i vote for the andorpersand

Here's a little example of something my editorial colleagues and I find humorous:


What strikes me as salient about these punctuation marks is that quite a few of them would offer signals about intent that would otherwise be missed due to the nature of the writing - presumably text messaging, where things are often written in haste and there isn't much opportunity to craft and nuance your words in a way that conveys your mood (for example, the "I'm not angry" and sarcasm-related punctuation). I wonder if the coming years will see the development of new punctuation (or repurposed punctuation) to meet that need.

Which one is your favorite?



7.18.2011

Monday funny

The major interstate my husband and I travel most is I-25. It cuts through the city and tends to show up in the areas we frequent.

One of the places we take I-25 to visit is the REI Flagship Store. (Coolest facility ever? I think maybe so.) We don't go to REI terribly often, but we go there enough to be familiar with the sights we'll see on the way. Including the occasional stunning vista or two.

But purple mountain majesty aside, I think my favorite thing to see along 25 is the shed warehouse.

Storage, we all know, is a booming industry. My rental house sports a separate 2 car garage along with an additional (empty) shed. My neighbors one one side have a separate 2-car garage as well as a driveway where they like to store their stuff. My neighbors on the other side have three sheds, two of which are 12x20! Every other property adjacent to my little rental has at least one shed, sometimes two or three. Sheds abound. Lots of sheds. Sheds everywhere.

Not that that has anything to do with I like the shed warehouse. I like the shed warehouse simply because of the business name.

Tough Shed.

Oh yes. This place is called Tough Shed and I love it. Specifically, I love saying the business name out loud as we pass it. Sometimes I'll say it loudly. Sometimes I'll mutter it. You never know, with me. But it makes Brian do a 'say-whaaaa?' every time, because for some reason he is surprised by it. Every time.

Nothing gives this recovering fundie the jollies like a 'sounds like profanity' moment.

(Also, Mom, sorry I said hell the other day.)

4.06.2011

an etsy item you should see

You guys.

I needed a new glasses case. And I found one. From this shop. And I love it.

Check it:

photo by WickedStella


You can see his brother here.

Check it out. You will laugh. And maybe you will buy your own? (Note: there's nothing in it for me.)

Besides, it's almost Easter. And I'm pretty sure Jesus is the closest thing to 'zombie' this world will ever see.

4.04.2011

attitude of gratitude

My family has a fairly open gift-return policy. We give things to the people we love with a hefty dose of 'I will not be offended if you don't like this' subtext. That's not to say that we give haphazardly and without much thought toward the recipient. If I had to guess, it might be a practice developed in response to (alleged) difficulties of finding something that I like. Ever been told you're hard to shop for? I have. (That's why I maintain an online wishlist year-round. Problem solved.)

This return policy, though, it's pretty nice. But I recently found something that could add a whole new dimension, making said policy even more effective.

Behold, the Gift Complaint Form.

It's cute, though at first glance the notion of complaining about a gift is off-putting. But it reminds me of the feedback forms at the college dining hall, so nostalgia mitigates the otherwise-unwelcome pang of complaining about gifts.

Plus, the serious and official format and middle-schooler language of an already fairly ridiculous concept makes it funny to me. It could be an interesting surprise response to a gag gift, too. Or it could be a gag itself! I'm giggling at the thought of my brother receiving one of these in the mail from me (in 'response' to a fictitious gift, maybe?).

My birthday isn't very far away, but I don't plan to be using this form in any serious manner. Still, it's kinda fun to look at, right? (Though if any kid of mine submitted one to me, things would not go well for said kid.)

12.29.2010

Some things I'd like to do in 2011

I'm not much for New Years Resolutions, mostly because I don't find it necessary or particularly motivating to start something at the beginning of a year. If I need to start doing something, I start doing it. January 1 is arbitrary. For me at least.

But this coming new year feels a little different to me. I've begun to think about what 2011 could mean for me, professionally, individually and maritally. I have a lot of ideas. And what happens when I get a lot of ideas? I make lists.


Home/Work Life
I'm back at home, with a vision for what being 'at home' means to me. Taking care of my home and my little family - me included - has become important to me. Yes, these are things that I've always valued and felt drawn toward, but right now I am feeling an urge to prioritize home life - to devote my energy and a large part of my days to holding down the fort. Sustaining this is also important to me. I want to find some work this year, yes, but I know now that I want to be working from home. Freelancing is an obvious first step in that direction, as is looking for work-from-home positions. I may also look at smaller side hustles like Etsy. And I have a few other small and medium projects on file too - mostly involving liquidation of assets (in other words, I'll be in charge of selling our car, our spare washer and dryer, and some high-end clothing that it turns out I like to look at but never wear).

To that end, there are some specific things I think I'd like to do this year:

  • Finish unpacking from our move 3 months ago, for the love of Pete
  • Set up the 'man cave' so that it looks like an actual man cave, and not a girly collection of miscellany (first step: get a rug that isn't pink and swirly)
  • Repaint the guest bathroom (and take down the wooden hand-painted shells tacked on the walls...)
  • Revamp my ailing professional website. Maybe even come up with a logo (gasp!) And then put the she-bang to use.
  • Flex my bulky but unused social media muscles.
  • Find a nice balance of minimalism/simplicity and organized abundance at home.

Health
Brian has been going to the gym pretty steadily for oh, maybe 6 weeks now? He is being proactive. It's starting to show, too. I really admire him for doing this. I've thought about shelling out a second membership to go to the gym with him. It's fairly frequently that he tells me he's heading to the gym and it occurs to me that, hey, I could go to the gym now too and not be too bothered by it! But then I wonder if that $25 a month could be put to better use, when I have walking shoes and a bike (not to mention a few workout dvds) that are already paid for. To increase our food budget to include grass-fed beef and free-range chickens. To go to the Chiropractor and/or get the monthly massages that keep my hip and shoulder in working order (because what good is a gym membership if it hurts too much to walk there, and then it hurts too much to do anything with the upper body?). To take a ballet class instead. We have to make these choices more carefully now. 

Same goes for food. We need to make more deliberate choices. And a large part of my role in that is making sure we have good options on hand. I also want to do even more cooking at home. This year may be the year of mastering high altitude bread-baking. There are some things I've always wanted to do in the kitchen, and now is as good a time as any to make that happen (hello, New England Clam Chowder Served In A Bread Bowl). This year may also be the Year of the Garden. If I can work up the nerve.

So here's the next part of the list:
  • Bake consistently good bread. Primary targets include sandwich bread that Brian will eat, and dinner rolls.
  • Reach for healthful snacks and lunches more often than less good options. 
  • Grow, and then eat, something. Maybe a few different kinds of somethings. 

Money and Travel
Because no amount of introspection is done without consideration of The Bottom Line, I of course have a section on money here. It's not that detailed yet - I feel like we are still in a financially shifting stage of life right now, so setting big goals there isn't something I want to do. I did come across the 20 Financial Milestones to Reach in Your 20s, though, and I'm looking to them for guidance. I'll share the specifics here when I figure them out, in case you're interested. 

But really what our financial goals will boil down to is likely to be "Save for Traveling." We are going to Israel in June, and saving up to pay for it in cash - a goal made doable only because the church is paying for Brian's trip. Brian is also hoping to go to Haiti in March, which may be fully or partially covered by the church as well. We've recently been invited to a destination wedding in Costa Rica(!!!) in the fall, which we are hoping to swing without dipping into savings. If the Costa Rica trip doesn't pan out, I think I'm going to put together a little road trip to Austin, TX. I may even go to Vegas in a few weeks with my mom and her friend, depending on how some 'professional inquiries' shake out (I've never been to Vegas, have you?).

I love the prospect of traveling. We haven't had a chance to do much of it in our 3 years of marriage. We had our belated honeymoon in Hawaii, we had a fun road trip moving out to Colorado, and there were other road trips from the home base in Richmond, but those were all to see family, rather than pure, raw vacationing. So having these trips on the horizon is really exciting. And hey, if we can put away 4 Grand in 10 months to go to Israel, maybe we can keep saving at that same rate and finally get to Ireland in 2012. I traveled a lot with my family before I went to college, and Brian has a big travel bug too. It's good for us and our marriage to get out of town whenever we can.


And then I'm reminded: we have student loans. And maybe we should focus on paying those down faster, not on taking these trips everywhere. And there are other things we need to be thinking about too, like retirement accounts (uh...we don't really have those yet) and saving up to pay cash for a car in the event that we need one (the Highlander is coming up on 10 years old). It will probably be a while before it would make sense for us to buy a house (have you priced houses in Denver lately?) so a down payment is not even on the radar yet. We live below our means and build our general savings every month on top of the Israel trip savings, but is that good enough? This is the year to figure it out.

So with all of that rambled said, the third prong of things to do in 2011 is as follows:

  • Fund Israel trip with cash - enough cash to bring home a really special thing or two
  • Take one other trip in the fall
  • Contribute to Brian's 403(b) and open an IRA for me
  • Develop a budget that both of us can stand, and stick to it

Random Misc
Every time I've moved, I pack more boxes than I'd care to admit labeled "Random Misc." It started in college, before I realized that the phrase is redundant, and the label has stuck. These are the boxes that rarely, if ever, get unpacked. I'm pretty sure that the reason I was able to unpack every single box from our move out here a year ago is that we had packers for that move, and none of their boxes were labeled 'random misc.' But, what's a list of things to do without a little bit of random miscellany thrown in?

Here are some of the other random things I'd like to do this year: 
  • Take a class in something. ballet, pottery and foreign language are top contenders
  • Dig into my 'special' yarn and fabric stashes and start making things with them
  • Make butter and see if it's worth it
  • Get someone else to help me decorate (any volunteers?)
  • Make curtains for the tall, skinny, off-center window over the bed
  • Read 52 books - one for each week of the year. Unless it turns out I read more than 52 books this year, in which case, read more books this year than last year. 

11.12.2010

workisms

In my line of work, I end up talking to a lot of people. And I talk to people who talk to a lot of people, too. I have a modest collection of funny stories and odd 'workisms' that I've been privileged to hear.*

Today, I'm going to share a recent one with you.

I am one of three admins where I work, and I share 'technology' responsibilities with another person. I am generally, though not always, the most tech-savvy of our staff of 7.

So when a coworker got off the phone after having what was apparently a very confused conversation with someone, naturally I dropped in. She, my coworker, was trying to get him, the guy on the other end of the phone, to bring her an electronic copy of a document or presentation or something when they were meeting the following week. (This, and not emailing the file to her, made sense in the context.)

He wasn't sure what she meant.

She explained that she needed him to bring the files with him, not just a paper copy but the files, stored on something, so that they could be loaded into the system at the site.

That's when he asked if she meant he should bring the documents on his flash pod.

We decided that we thought he was talking about a thumb drive. And I thought that calling it a 'flash pod' was endlessly amusing.

Which is why I no longer carry a thumb drive. I carry a flash pod.



What's your best workism? 


*Remind me to tell you about the erotic Norwegian love poetry sometime.

8.17.2010

good moods

Hey y'all.

I am in a good mood right now.

Know why?

I got me some new shoes.

That's right. Check these babies out.







AND, I got them on clearance.

Awwwwww  yeahhhhhhhh. 


Do you have an instant pick-me-up you like to employ when necessary? What are your favorite shoes right now?

6.16.2010

Lists of Five



Five People (Dead or Alive) I Would Invite to My Ideal Dinner Party (Catered)
  1. Zooey Deschanel
  2. My mom's mom
  3. Harper Lee 
  4. Michael W. Smith
  5. Heidi Klum
Five Things I Like About My Body (Biologically Speaking)
  1. I like my high, veiny former dancer arches
  2. Hair
  3. Ability to nap when it's too hot
  4. Nebulous blue/green/brown eye color
  5. hourglass figure! it's jumbo-sized right now, but it's there!
Five Things I Am Afraid Of
  1. Tornadoes
  2. Dying in a fire
  3. Roaches
  4. and Spiders
  5. Melanoma
Five Books That Make Me Happy
  1. To Kill a Mockingbird
  2. Redeeming Love
  3. Princess Bride
  4. Simple Abundance
  5. The American Heritage Dictionary (I love etymology!)
Five Impressions I Have Attempted
  1. Brian
  2. Marcus (my brother)
  3. Backstreet Boys
  4. anybody with a Scottish accent
  5. "every person ever on tv or the radio" according to Brian
Five Things I Have Done at Work (Instead of Working)
  1. Cried about how much I hated my life
  2. Cried about how much I hated my job
  3. Played the pirates game on facebook
  4. Called my friend in another office so that we could both look busy and unavailable without actually being busy or unavailable
  5. Made a meal plan for a week and a giant massive shopping list
Five of My Favorite Adjectives (Not Alphabetical)
  1. (so) meaty
  2. quixotic
  3. resplendent
  4. poop-brained
  5. stupid
Five Awfulnesses I Would Eradicate Immediately, If Given the Opportunity and a Little Red Button
  1. Water-borne diseases
  2. Muscle spasms
  3. Temperatures above 85 degrees wherever it is that I happen to be
  4. Abusive fundamentalism
  5. Cancer
Five Things I Wish I Had But Do Not
  1. A pretty singing voice
  2. 4-limb independence
  3. Willpower
  4. More papillons
  5. A mortgage
Five Ways to Win My Eternal Affection, Eternally
  1. Give me chocolate
  2. Give me challah
  3. Buy me books
  4. Give me fabric and/or yarn
  5. Did I mention chocolate?
    Five Fails That I Enjoy Anyway
    1. Bowling
    2. Sewing
    3. Re-telling jokes and funny stories
    4. Dog ownership
    5. Walking
    My Five Favorite Expressions
    1. allez cuisine!
    2. whatever
    3. your mom goes to college
    4. dude!
    5. your turn
    Five Things I Will Be When I Grow Up
    1. copy editor for the New Yorker
    2. city dweller
    3. friend of a famous person
    4. wedding gown saleswoman
    5. book shop owner
    Five Things On My Life-Long To-Do List
    1. hike into the woods and camp for a week
    2. publish something
    3. study Russian
    4. own a bmw 3 series
    5. see Japan


    What's on your list?

    5.24.2010

    Wedding Vows

    Normally, when it comes to wedding vows (and a whole slew of other things) I am a pretty traditional girl. We had a traditional wedding, fairly Presbyterian in nature, with the hymns and the organ and the no-clapping rule (which was broken, if I remember correctly. I was a little busy at that particular moment.).

    In bible study the other night, one of the ladies mentioned a new take on the old wedding vow - promising to be together for 'as long as we both shall love' - which, to me, sucks. There are so many comments I could make about that particular cop-out of choice, none of them nice. So I'll refrain.

    Really though, a lot of 'we wrote our vows' vows are pretty lame, as far as I've experienced. Weak, and ignorant, and stupid. Maybe I should tell you how I really feel.

    I was over at Flora's blog daydreaming about a succulent wall when I spotted these DIY wedding vows, and I have to admit, I think they're pretty cute. Not for me, and probably not 'solemn vow before God and all our loved ones' vows for a church wedding, but cute nonetheless.


    “Jonathan: I vow to love you
    Kestrin: I vow to love you
    J: to respect you
    K: to always make fun
    J: to be your best friend ever
    K: to constantly generate a force field of awesome to guide and protect us
    J: to do what I love
    K: to actively maintain our relationship
    J: to be lucky
    K: to live a charmed life
    J: to live as long as possible
    K: to ask nicely for what i need
    J: to communicate my feelings effectively
    K: to live a life of hilarious bliss together
    J: to provide for you
    K: to solve problems
    J: to make time for you every single day
    J: to remain curious
    K: to stand by my man
    J: to put our relationship first
    K: to build a community around us
    J: to build a family life together
    K: to give you babies
    J: to change the diapers on those babies
    K: to be great parent
    J: to sing with you in the morning
    K: to give you shoulder rubs, intermittently, for as long as we both shall live
    J: to remember how lucky I am
    K: to rock out with our great grandchildren
    J: to take you on one hundred honeymoons
    K: to maintain a menagerie
    J: to clean up
    K: to sing songs to you
    J: to speak for you when you sing your voice out
    K: to throw radical parties
    J: to be faithful to you
    K: to take joy in doing nice things for you
    J: to be compassionate
    K: to be devoted
    J: to be committed
    K: to be happy
    J: to listen to you
    K: to support you
    J: to stay with you forever
    K: Do you vow to be my husband?
    J: I do. Do you vow to be my wife?
    K: I do.”



    Your turn. What's your take on wedding vows? Did you/would you write your own? What do you think about vowing to stay married for 'as long as we both shall love'? Do you think wedding vows have anything to do with God? Fire away!

    5.19.2010

    Oh Happy Day!

    Today marks the third anniversary of my starting this blog.

    Rejoicing and dancing and gladness, begin!!

    Also, let the consumption of cake begin!


    And chocolate.  Because no celebration is complete without chocolate.

    4.06.2010

    The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian?" Scorecard

    So after a busy, but great, Easter weekend, I'm back! I hope y'all had a great one too.

    Today, we're in for something a little different. Do you know who Jon Acuff is? If you don't, you should, and if you do, you know I'm talking about the Stuff Christians Like guy. I've been a fan and follower of SCL for...I don't know, 2 years maybe? And as a life-long Christian, I can vouch for Jon and his satire...he is a riot, and he is spot-on. My favorite post of all time is the one on the youth minister uniform. Because it's about 97% accurate about my own husband, a youth minister. I laughed out loud the whole time I first read it. (And yes, it's a guest post not written by Jon, but STILL.)

    Now on to today's specialness. One of the things Jon likes to do is put together scorecards on a certain topic, or issue, or question. And they are HILARIOUS. Today, I am hosting one line of the current scorecard, as a part of a massive SCL link-up. Check back to Stuff Christians Like (stuffchristianslike.net) to see the rest of the scorecard, and do the math on YOUR favorite Idol contestant, past or present (if you have one). And if you are so not into AI (like I'm not) then hit up SCL and poke around the archives. If you are a Christian or you know a Christian or you know anything about Christians, you will be amused. And the Serious Wednesday posts are great, too.

    So here goes:

    The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard”

    98. Their friends in the crowd write signs with CS Lewis quotes on them, like “Cory, we hope you’re surprised by joy!” = + 3 points

    To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net. I'd love it if you came back here and told me your score!

    12.18.2009

    daily drop cap

    Do you know about the Daily Drop Cap blog?  If not, you're in for a treat. The blog itself has a pretty useful intro, so I'm pulling this description from there rather than reinvent this particular wheel:  The Daily Drop Cap is an ongoing project by typographer and illustrator Jessica Hische. Each day (or at least each WORK day), a new hand-crafted decorative initial cap will be posted for your enjoyment and for the beautification of blog posts everywhere. 


    Jessica's letters are so much fun to look at. They lend themselves to all kinds of ideas for home decorating, gifts, and even blog redesigns! There's a pretty good chance that a letter or two of hers might end up in my home, framed as artwork.  She's gone through the alphabet more than once, so there is fun to be had over and over again.

    If you're into typography, design, or letters in general, go have a look here.  You won't regret it.

    11.27.2009

    a big announcement from the western homefront

    After nearly a week of alternating between panic attacks and extreme excitement, I am ready to announce that there is a new member of the westernmost (as far as I know) contingent of the Gainer/Daoust/Shultz/Bowden families.







    Her name is Aurora, but she goes by Rory.  She is a beautiful three-month-old brown package of piddle border collie and I am investing in a Bissell Spot Shot very very soon to save the carpet.  When we brought her home, she was about the same size as Eli, but a little taller and with a bigger head.  She outgrew him overnight.  She still looks like a stuffed animal, though.

    Her name, Aurora, comes from a town in the Denver Metro area, where we will probably be spending a lot of our time since our Denver neighborhood shares a border with Aurora.  She is not named after Rory Gilmore.

    (Brian didn't go for my suggestion that we name her Aurora Borealis and call her Rory-Bory.)   (Sometimes I call her Rory-Bory anyway.) (UPDATE: Brian came around.)

    10.29.2009

    Lou Gehrig on night baseball

    The job I have right now - for the next couple of weeks, at least - sometimes inspires me to delve into information about Lou Gehrig.  (It's Gehrig, not Gherig, by the way.)

    Many months ago, I came across a fun interview that Lou did with a guy named Dwight Merriam, of KROC.  They talked about all kinds of basebally subjects, but this one comment on night baseball games struck me as odd in a funny kind of way. There was a shift in the days of the Great Depression from baseball games being played in the daytime to being played at night, made possible by electricity and made necessary by dwindling spectatorship.  Playing at night meant that folks who worked during the day could come to the evening games, and ticket sales were (as always) important.  The first night baseball game was played in 1935, but it didn't really take off until after the war.  The Chicaco Cubs were the lone daytime holdout for decades, and they didn't install lights at Wrigley until 1988.

    While fans seemed to take to night baseball pretty quickly, a lot of the people IN baseball didn't like the change.  As a self-professed analog person in a digital world, I totally 'get' an innate resistance to change brought on by technology, and some of the major arguments from 80 years ago are tinged with quaint antique notions.  For example, one major worry was that players would have a hard time shifting betweein lighting conditions and that there would be more injuries during night games (per this site).

    Want to know what Lou Gehrig thought?  Read this excerpt from that 1939 interview, and keep in mind that Gehrig and the Yankees lost their first night game, in Philadelphia, prior to this interview.  (Note: I've put my favorite comment in bold.)


    Dwight Merriam, KROC: Lou, what's your opinion of night baseball?

    Lou Gehrig: Well, night baseball is strictly a show and is strictly advantageous to the owners' pocketbook. But as far as being a true exhibition of baseball, well, I don't think I can say it is, and it's very difficult on the ballplayers themselves. Of course, we realize that the men who work in the daytime like to get out at night and really see a spectacle, and we do all in our power to give them their money's worth. But after all, it's not really baseball. Real baseball should be played in the daytime, in the sunshine.



     I love baseball.  I don't really 'follow' it, I don't know many players and I can only tell you the Phillies won the world series last year because one of my best friends is a hardcore fan.  It was a long time before I'd return to a stadium or even watch a game after the big players strick in the 90s.  But I sure do love going to stadiums, especially major league stadiums, and it doesn't take much for me to get caught up in the traditions of our national pastime.

    10.22.2009

    the road trip with no predetermined destination, revisited

    So I have road trips on the brain.  Back a while ago, I mentioned that I would like to go on a road trip with no predetermined destination, with the caveat that I did want to have some kind of ultimate goal or at least idea of a goal in mind for somewhere on down the line.

    Brian said this made him sad, because there IS a predetermined destination. My thought was, yes ultimately you're aiming for somewhere, but that doesn't mean you have to go STRAIGHT there, hence it's an unplanned road trip! Same thing, right?

    Brian said that you're supposed to just go and 'see where the road takes you.' I have no idea what that means.

    No. Seriously. The concept is unfathomable. How do you decide where to turn?

    Apparently, I have nary a spontaneous bone in my body.


    How do you decide where to turn, when you're on a spontaneous road trip to who-knows-where?

    9.23.2009

    real and true happiness

    One of the things about my husband that I find most endearing is his affinity for glass-bottled Cokes. I've always been a Coke girl myself, so we were a natural fit.

    Cokes usually come in 8 oz glass bottles - the 12 oz variety doesn't seem to be made anymore. Even the bottles go for 'big money' - $4 or $10 at antique shops.

    So when we were shopping at the Evil Empire the other day, we were thrilled to find that there was an entire palette of 6-pack 12 oz glass bottle Cokes. We picked some up, naturally, and have been enjoying their presence in our fridge, and our tummies, all weekend.

    The only real hitch with these guys is that the caps are plastic, not metal. Some would consider this great, for the same reason that any resealable cap is great. And hey, they may become our new water bottles until we can make the move to aluminum or stainless steel bottles. But really, there's something a little odd about twisting a contemporary plastic cap off an old-fashioned bottle. This certainly won't stop us from making the most of our newly acquired "happiness in a bottle!!"

    And as a side note: if you're into the nostalgia that Coke brings up, I'd recommend you check out the Coca-Cola store website. They have some super rad stuff.

    9.14.2009

    how now

    Unless you live under an even bigger rock than the one I live under, you know that the US Open is going on. (What you might not know is that Roger Federer can play tennis so well that he can hit a ball, back to the net, between his legs, and it will go back over the net just out of his opponent's reach.)

    And the US Open, as you may or may not know, is aired on CBS. Or CBSHD if you're high-tech. Which we are not (yet).

    You know what else is aired on CBS - at least for the next week? Guiding Light. The longest-running television show in history. (72 years.) CBS canceled the show back in April, and its last episode airs this Friday. I've been watching GL since the latter part of 2005, when I was stuck in my old room at my mom's house, with a head injury that prevented me from reading and left me with radio or TV for entertainment, and all but maybe 2 of my friends had just moved away (graduation and all). I happened upon GL during a pretty interesting young-people story line, and my viewership stuck. I've been pretty bummed that the show is canceled, like many people.

    So when I heard that 60 Minutes was airing some kind of special on GL, I decided to tune in. Except the US Open was still going on, and 60M was being bumped back.

    It was while I was waiting for one irrelevant subject of great passion to wrap up so that I could watch a special on another irrelevant subject of great passion being wrapped up that I remembered that, despite a lifetime of tennis-watching and even playing, I still do not know how the sport is scored (sorry mom). I've got game-set-match down, and I know that 'love' means zero, and at some point or other, to win you have to have two more of something than the other guy does. End of tennis knowledge storehouse.

    So after offering this new insight to my husband for his greater enlightenment, I proceeded to Google to educate myself. I typed in the word 'how' (as in 'how tennis is scored') and some Google suggestions popped up. Would you like to know what Google suggests for search terms beginning with the word HOW?

    I knew you would. Maybe you'll see the funny correlation among the top 5.

    Here we go:

    HOW to tie a tie
    HOW i met your mother
    HOW to kiss
    HOW to get pregnant
    HOW stuff works
    HOW to
    HOWard University
    HOW to lose weight
    HOWard Hanna
    HOW to make a website

    9.02.2009

    Marginalia, by Billy Collins

    I was charmed by this poem, found here (hat tip to @thatwhichmatters via Twitter). Maybe you will, be too. Unless you're my librarian-bred husband, in which case you will cringe. Me, I am often charmed by reading the responses in the marginalia, though for some reason I have never had the nerve to contribute my own. Maybe I will, now, next time I'm enraptured or otherwise moved.

    Enjoy!



    Marginalia

    Sometimes the notes are ferocious,
    skirmishes against the author
    raging along the borders of every page
    in tiny black script.
    If I could just get my hands on you,
    Kierkegaard, or Conor Cruise O'Brien,
    they seem to say,
    I would bolt the door and beat some logic into your head.

    Other comments are more offhand, dismissive -
    "Nonsense." "Please!" "HA!!" -
    that kind of thing.
    I remember once looking up from my reading,
    my thumb as a bookmark,
    trying to imagine what the person must look like
    why wrote "Don't be a ninny"
    alongside a paragraph in The Life of Emily Dickinson.

    Students are more modest
    needing to leave only their splayed footprints
    along the shore of the page.
    One scrawls "Metaphor" next to a stanza of Eliot's.
    Another notes the presence of "Irony"
    fifty times outside the paragraphs of A Modest Proposal.

    Or they are fans who cheer from the empty bleachers,
    Hands cupped around their mouths.
    "Absolutely," they shout
    to Duns Scotus and James Baldwin.
    "Yes." "Bull's-eye." "My man!"
    Check marks, asterisks, and exclamation points
    rain down along the sidelines.

    And if you have managed to graduate from college
    without ever having written "Man vs. Nature"
    in a margin, perhaps now
    is the time to take one step forward.

    We have all seized the white perimeter as our own
    and reached for a pen if only to show
    we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages;
    we pressed a thought into the wayside,
    planted an impression along the verge.

    Even Irish monks in their cold scriptoria
    jotted along the borders of the Gospels
    brief asides about the pains of copying,
    a bird signing near their window,
    or the sunlight that illuminated their page-
    anonymous men catching a ride into the future
    on a vessel more lasting than themselves.

    And you have not read Joshua Reynolds,
    they say, until you have read him
    enwreathed with Blake's furious scribbling.

    Yet the one I think of most often,
    the one that dangles from me like a locket,
    was written in the copy of Catcher in the Rye
    I borrowed from the local library
    one slow, hot summer.
    I was just beginning high school then,
    reading books on a davenport in my parents' living room,
    and I cannot tell you
    how vastly my loneliness was deepened,
    how poignant and amplified the world before me seemed,
    when I found on one page

    A few greasy looking smears
    and next to them, written in soft pencil-
    by a beautiful girl, I could tell,
    whom I would never meet-
    "Pardon the egg salad stains, but I'm in love."


    8.31.2009

    when all else fails, post a meme

    I was tagged! And instead of wasting more time on Facebook, I decided to do a non-update on my blog. Don't worry folks, news is coming soon.

    The following meme is brought to you by Angie, aka lala, aka AngStudAng, aka Trigger. Please note that she will not answer to any of these.


    Three nicknames I go by or nicknames others have given me:
    1. bashtree
    2. ash
    3. beb

    Three jobs I have had in my life.
    1. childcare assistant for CHBC's mothers morning out program
    2. staff assistant, center for academic integrity
    3. administrative coordinator, the als association

    Three Places I have lived:
    1. charlotte, nc
    2. chapel hill, nc
    3. richmond, va

    Three Favorite drinks:
    1. room-temperature water
    2. white grape juice
    3. vodka (shut up)

    Three TV shows that I watch
    1. so you think you can dance
    2. guiding light (for the next couple of weeks that it's on) (also, stop judging)
    3. in shape with sharon mann

    Three Favorite Old Shows
    1. that 70s show. i'm counting it as old, because it's no longer produced and it's set in the 70s
    2. the match game (best game show ever)
    3. that pyramid game with the words - $64,000 pyramid? i love old game shows.

    Three Places I Have Been
    1. st. petersburg, russia
    2. san blas islands, off of panama
    3. the ruins at ancient ephesus

    Three people who e-mail/Facebook me regularly
    1. lisa
    2. chuck
    3. stacey

    Three of my favorite restaurants
    1. sticky rice
    2. hill cafe
    3. city diner

    Three things I am looking forward to
    1. my next mac, whatever/whenever it may be
    2. having a swanky downtown loft apartment (in my dreams)
    3. getting another dog

    Three Places I would like to visit
    1. monticello
    2. mt. vernon
    3. blue ridge parkway

    Three books I'd like to finish this year:
    1. the way of a pilgrim
    2. o come ye back to ireland
    3. little heathens
    (and much, much more)

    Three Dreams:
    1. multiple papillons
    2. a long, happy marriage
    3. a pile of quilts

    Three living people I'd like to have dinner with my family:
    1. kelly justice
    2. john christopher
    3. eddie izzard

    Three life sweet events this week:
    1. a volunteer bringing a special treat for me (little does he know what's in store for him!)
    2. eli responding well to his new training and being much more cuddly and at ease and people-oriented
    3. brian and his extremely good news - and the new demeanor he's had since hearing it

    Three things I am grateful for:
    1. a husband who's easy to love
    2. people who want to take care of us
    3. bark busters

    5.15.2009

    43 things, part 3

    Back, after a hiatus!  See part 1 here and part 2 here if you're so inclined.

    11. Get the artwork hung in the house.  I am the only one on 43things.com with this particular thing on my list.  I am coming up on 2 years here, and still have not figured out how to arrange the miscellany on the walls.  Most of it went up on preexisting hooks and nails as I was unpacking, in an attempt to keep from breaking anything, and it has all stayed right where it landed.  It's bad, y'all.  Bad.

    12. Learn to sew.  Happily, I am beginning the journey!  I now know how to work the machine and I've done some very very simple projects (curtains and pillow cases).  There's a book on the way that talks about beginner quilting.  This summer, I will make a tshirt quilt if it's the first and last quilting project I ever do!!!!  

    Also, I am thinking about changing this one to something more specific.  Like 'make a quilt' or 'make a dress from a pattern.'  Something measurable or accomplishable.

    13. Go back to school.  Sadly, I'm beginning to realize that my days as an academic have probably passed me.  I just don't have the capacity I used to for highly concentrated study.  Continuing ed, certificate programs, and the like very much appeal to me, but I doubt I'll ever be a master or doctor of anything.

    14. Walk the dog more often. Again with the 'goals' that aren't really quantifiable.  Now that the days are longer and the weather is nicer, Eli does go on a W-A-L-K more often.  But more often than what?  Than in winter?  Than when I was sick?  Than when he was a baby puppy squishyface?  More often than he gets walked right now would be ideal.  Maybe 5 times a week for 4 weeks?  It'd be a habit by then, yes?

    15. Write a song.  As a musician AND a verbivore holding a communication degree, I ostensibly should have written a song by now.

    Analytics