on work

I got really choked up last night when I realized that it was Sunday evening, and I wasn't a tense, anxious, very unhappy person on account of another work week looming less than 12 hours away.

I used to be one of the many miserable people who hated their jobs.  I would go to work every day and be so frustrated, uninspired, tense, worried, guilty, and ... miserable.  I was a square peg trying to fit in a round hole...the round hole was a great job with a lot of value to the community and to the organization.  But it wasn't right for me at all.
My health was shot.  I couldn't sleep at night, I'd be sick for months with illnesses that usually wouldn't last more than a week, a lot of my food allergies and digestive problems were resurfacing, I was in so much pain I couldn't stand up straight and my feet always hurt.  I was exhausted and my physical world was starting to cave in.  I'd already lost my mental and emotional stability,  on account of all the anxiety and self-flagellation.  And when every argument with my husband rapidly descended into 'you are NEVER happy, there is nothing I could possibly do to make you happy' and I recognized the TRUTH in that statement, I knew it was time for a change.  Bad economy or not, I reached the point where being unemployed would have been better for me than staying where I was.  I was in a tight spot, y'all.

So when a seasonal job opened up for me - one that I'd had and LOVED before - I jumped.  Knowing it would only be 6-8 weeks, I jumped anyway.  I was making much more income with relatively stable hours, so we were able to sock away another 2 weeks of living expenses during the time I was there.  And within 2 weeks of that job ending, I was temping in another job that would end up hiring me permanently a couple of weeks later.

Here I am - happy, healthy(er), much more stable at home, and I'm even reading regularly - a sure sign that I am doing much better.  I am able to enjoy my weekends 100% and not deal with the angst of Monday mornings approaching.  My home is slowly coming back together, I'm exercising and getting all of the permanent knots worked out of my back, I even MOPPED last night.  Brian and I argue so much less, the things that seemed like a big deal when every last nerve of mine was frayed aren't so important, and he's more inclined to compromise now.  I feel like we're a team again.

I feel like I have my life back.  

I am so fortunate to have been able to make this change, especially with the job market the way it is here in Richmond.  Not everyone could be so fortunate.  

If you're mired in misery the way I was, I encourage you to do whatever it takes to get out.  Don't convince yourself that it will get better.  Don't throw those days and weeks and months of your life away!  The fear you feel, starring down the face of unemployment, could be worth facing.  You don't know what's going to happen.  When you get a chance to get out, take it.

You might want to cancel your cable first, though.  Just in case.

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