dear neighbors, i promise i don't hate you even though i suggested that i might

So after Monday's debacle of honesty and maybe perhaps way too much jealousy and later a pinch of grow-the-hell-up, I've made a full recovery.

My meltdown was ridiculous, and I hope that some folks got a chuckle out of it.  Do I really hate the neighbors?  No, not at all!  I'm actually really looking forward to getting to know them.  One of the great things about not knowing someone yet is that there is plenty of room to imagine all the potential greatness in what could become your friendship. 

It's times like Monday that make me remember that it takes time to make deep, real, full changes.   My aspirations today are a departure from what they'd been for many years, and clearly there are still remnants of old thought patterns that need to be dug up.

This has also been a wonderful exercise in grace, to my new neighbors and to the shapes they've already taken in my mind.  Not to mention that a year ago, I would have obliterated my sense of self-worth with huge guilt trips and weeks or maybe even months of 'I can't believe I actually felt that way' regrets and embarrassments.  Regretting humanity in all its raw, clawing ugliness is no way to live. Progress, not perfection.

It seems the new neighbors have moved in, or at least have started moving in.  They're married now, at least according to the writing on their car, and I also know their first names, thanks to the same writing.  It seems their friends went a little easier on the decor than ours did.  Either that, or they washed their car after the wedding and wrote a nice, tasteful 'Just Married ___ and ___ on the back windshield.  (I probably would have done that too, if we could have spared the cash for a bottle of white shoe polish.)

Shortly after Brian and I got home from work/school this afternoon, we noticed the dad had pulled up with his truck and had some furniture.  Brian decided to go over and offer to help unload, but they were too quick and by the time he got over there, they'd already finish and had shut themselves inside.  Oh well, maybe next time.

I'm going to hit the Walgreens to buy some sugar - it's on sale AND I have a coupon - and then I will begin drumming up ideas of what to bake for them.  I'm thinking maybe this cinnamon bread, from the always-yummy Baking Bites, will work.  There's something therapeutic about making something so comforting from scratch, especially if you're adding an element of making silent amends to the ingredient list.

And now it's your turn.  How do you handle yourself when you are recovering from the whiniest, most embarrassing tantrum you've had since...the last one?  

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