big things happen, sometimes all in a row

In case my mom (hi, Mom!) and in-laws (hey there!) are reading, I will go ahead and say that the 'big things' referenced in this post's title do NOT include any little Ashleys or Brians* running around 9 months from now.

So you know how sometimes 'life' kinda rolls along for a while and you're able to keep up and get all most enough of your stuff done and 'the immediate future' isn't so overwhelming when you really consider it...AND THEN...you go to Guatemala for a week, wherein you get sick almost immediately, and the day after you return you have a house guest, and you discover giant patches of fur missing off your border collie's haunches, and then a couple of days after the guest leaves you pack up and leave again for 5 days on the East Coast with your in-laws (who are, incidentally, pretty much the coolest in-laws around), whereupon you learn that 3 days after you get back from the East Coast, your mother-in-law (of whom you are a big fan...and you're not just saying that) is coming for a 12 day visit which is happening a little sooner than you'd anticipated, and then you come back home to find something that may or may not be BLACK MOLD (but is black, and moldy, and makes your throat so tight you can't breathe**) growing in your master closet and you have to empty out your walk-in closet somewhere to get the repairs done but you can't pile everything in the guest room because that's about to be occupied but you don't have many other options besides dumping everything on the floor in your bedroom except you can't SEE the floor yet because the room hasn't recovered from all that traveling you just did and there are suitcases and laundry baskets everywhere not to mention all the stuff you would put away but can't because it goes in the closet, and then you hear from the awesome neighbors who just gave you a great bike and took care of your dogs last-minute but were thanked by said dogs via BITES but because the neighbors are awesome they think it's funny but kinda sad that the dogs were that neurotic, and oh by the way you're starting a new job this afternoon but you're afraid to wear your work clothes which have been hanging out in the is-it-mold-mold-or-black-mold closet so good luck with that, and besides all that, everything you read has basic grammar and spelling errors which REALLY IRRITATE YOU and also this is the week you decided to break the email habit and only check it every 2 hours but it's making you feel even more agitated than usual because you can't.get.your.email.fix??!?

Right. So that's me right now. Any questions?

How was YOUR Independence Day weekend?

*no, they DON'T need apostrophes***
**yes, it's breathE, not breath***
***you should hire me, because I know stuff like this