Tuesday was a bad day for me. It was really one of those days - which you expect - during which the puppy was making me crazy, I'd fallen on the ice twice so I was in pain, and I kept staring at the piles and lists and to-dos, feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed.
Outside, it got cold in Denver. That afternoon some big heavy snow clouds flew in over the mountains and the temps dropped around 10 degrees. Which was just as well because I didn't want to go outside anyway. Brian had meetings all day and into the evening, and by the time it was about 6:30, I had had my fill of dogs and whining and cleaning and not getting things done.
So I had myself a good cry. The angry kind, with the hot, bitter tears, and the feelings of being overwhelmed and underappreciated and just plain exhausted swirling around, the terrible accompanying thoughts going in and out of my mind.
There's nothing like a good cry.
And there's nothing like coming out of a good cry. I let it roll until everything quieted down, and then I decided something had to change. I needed some ME time. Some mental space. A break.
I knew I had about half an hour or so before Brian would be home, so I crated the dogs with some food, turned on some soothing music (Norah Jones, if you must know) and I got comfortable on the couch and read through some gardening books I'd picked up at the library the day before.
There is nothing so hopeful and restorative as looking through gardening books in the dead of winter. And y'all, I made another list.
Two lists, actually.
Of the green thumb things I wanted to try this year. Vegetables and herbs I wanted to grow, namely. And somewhere on that list is also 'find a potted lemon tree.' Because, for some reason, I have my little heart set on having a lemon tree.
When Brian came home, I was in a better frame of mind (though, I must admit, not for long enough to get us through the evening without incident).
Do you ever have days that make you feel like pulling out your hair, tossing everything out the window, and hiding? What do you do to calm yourself down? How do you get past the overwhelm?