real live mystery

No talk of books this morning.  We've got ourselves a puzzle to solve.

This morning, like most mornings, I got up before Brian.  I went to take the dog out - he goes outside through the kitchen - and I noticed that all over the tile kitchen floors there was a brown splatter.  This was not there last night.

I looked around, checked other places for any sign of the whatever, didn't find any, and sat there puzzled.  (Notice I did not clean it up.  I'm not about to get elbow deep in mystery goo until I know what it is and I know what will get rid of it effectively.  I just...won't use the kitchen, yeah.)

Brian woke up a few minutes later, and before I could ask him about what he spilled all over the kitchen, he showed me similar-colored brown smears all over his hands, asking if I thought they were blood.  I said I didn't know, but that it was all over the kitchen floor too.

After a series of questions and poking and looking places, we learned that Brian did not (knowingly) go in the kitchen last night; it's not a nose bleed because his hands are the only place it appears on him, and it is nowhere on his clothes or pillow or anything.  JUST the kitchen floor and his hands.  AND, I can vouch that there is/was no meat in the fridge last night that might have dripped everywhere if moved or taken out.

Bizarrrrrrro.....  cue the creepy music.