If it's not rhapsodies about wonderful husbands and perfect kids, it's hooray minivans and yay takeout. Seriously? I don't know. Some people -- lots of people -- really get a kick out of everybody being overtly thankful for all the wonderful things in their lives. You have a perfectly behaved dog? Hey, me too! And your $70-a-cut hair stylist is the best? I SO love my cut-and-colors with highlights and lowlights every six weeks on the nose, afforded to me by my previously mentioned perfect husband the huge paychecks! Hey, while we're celebrating our collective awesomeness, which Chinese restaurant delivery service are you most grateful for?
Me, I am exceedingly grateful for the days that I'm able to finish washing my week-old dishes in a rush before my sick, cranky, runny-nosed toddler starts throwing rocks at the dog again.
But because it's the season for gratitude and I am all about lists, I thought I'd mention a few of the things I'm grateful for right here, instead of clogging up everyone's rainbows-and-sparkles-athon.
- I'm thankful that all my lipsticks were recently deemed old enough to throw out without hesitation, before the aforementioned toddler found them and decided to make permanent art on the walls.
- I'm thankful that there's no room in my budget for Starbucks, which means I never have to deal with lines of caffeine-addicted people and baristas who either won't look you in the eye or won't stop singing (or both).
- I'm thankful that two of my closest friends are non-dairy and vegetarian, respectively, because that means I don't have to be careful about how much cheese I pile on when one comes over and I get all the taco meat when the other one does.
- I'm thankful that my Ikea couch slipcover is washable, because when everything is covered in pee, I at least have the amusement of seeing a naked toddler atop a naked sofa.
- I'm thankful that you and I are still friends, despite the fact that I am a terrible person who is complaining about people being happy.
What's on your list, besides the obvious?
*I want to be really super clear right up front that I am not actually talking about any specific friend or collection of friends here. There are so many of these posts flooding my news feed that my eyes glaze over and I don't even pay attention to the content or the post-er. So really, none of this is about you, person-I-probably-just-offended.