Recently, Osama bin Laden made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Mr Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama on the nose.
James Madison came up next, and said "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He dropped a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama was subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, Nora Fontaine Davidson, and sixty-five other people who have the same love for liberty and America.
As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picked him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.
As Osama awaited his journey to his final, very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!! Where are my 72 virgins?!?"
St. Peter replied "You thought I said virgins? No, no, no...I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you."