listing and listening: how to boost creativity, productivity, and sanity (i hope)

As much as I don't like Facebook, sometimes it can be good for something. A post by Stephanie St. Claire about starting and growing your small business recently went viral, and as a result of someone posting it on Facebook, I saw it. The post was great, with the kind of encouragement I needed at the time and a vibe that I really liked. So I read more.

As I tumbled down the blissbombed.com rabbit hole, I came across this post about daily list-making for creativity and problem solving. Daily lists? I could totally do that! I love lists! And I can still count to ten!

I've been trying it for a few days now. Most of my lists have been pretty lame so far, but there are a couple that I like. One is titled "what would make my life work better, right now?" and I see things that I really probably need to pay attention to -- and things that are within reach. One is called "ways I can keep my toddler occupied without involving a screen." The effectiveness of these ideas will surely be determined more by his whims than by the creativity of the ideas, BUT, at the very least I have some ideas to burn through next time I plan to shower without an assistant. (I'm beginning to think I should have made numbers 1-7 "give him an empty laundry hamper," because homeboy is really digging the mesh foldy/bendy laundry hampers right now.)

Steph first got the idea from James Altucher, another blogger I read. I recently bought his book (it's at $1.99 on Amazon) but I haven't had the chance to read it yet.

All in all, I like this list idea so far. I haven't seen a whole lot of actual fruit from it yet, but the problem solving feels good, regardless of whether any actual problems have been solved just yet.


What do you think about this idea? Are you a list maker?

bah humbug! or, all these daily thanks on facebook are getting on my nerves

I am maybe a cynic or maybe a scrooge or maybe a bitter old woman or maybe I just really need a nap. No matter what it is, I am going to come right out and say that all of these daily thanks posts all over my Facebook feed are really super annoying.*

If it's not rhapsodies about wonderful husbands and perfect kids, it's hooray minivans and yay takeout. Seriously? I don't know. Some people -- lots of people -- really get a kick out of everybody being overtly thankful for all the wonderful things in their lives. You have a perfectly behaved dog? Hey, me too! And your $70-a-cut hair stylist is the best? I SO love my cut-and-colors with highlights and lowlights every six weeks on the nose, afforded to me by my previously mentioned perfect husband the huge paychecks! Hey, while we're celebrating our collective awesomeness, which Chinese restaurant delivery service are you most grateful for?

Me, I am exceedingly grateful for the days that I'm able to finish washing my week-old dishes in a rush before my sick, cranky, runny-nosed toddler starts throwing rocks at the dog again.

But because it's the season for gratitude and I am all about lists, I thought I'd mention a few of the things I'm grateful for right here, instead of clogging up everyone's rainbows-and-sparkles-athon.

- I'm thankful that all my lipsticks were recently deemed old enough to throw out without hesitation, before the aforementioned toddler found them and decided to make permanent art on the walls.
- I'm thankful that there's no room in my budget for Starbucks, which means I never have to deal with lines of caffeine-addicted people and baristas who either won't look you in the eye or won't stop singing (or both).
- I'm thankful that two of my closest friends are non-dairy and vegetarian, respectively, because that means I don't have to be careful about how much cheese I pile on when one comes over and I get all the taco meat when the other one does.
- I'm thankful that my Ikea couch slipcover is washable, because when everything is covered in pee, I at least have the amusement of seeing a naked toddler atop a naked sofa.
- I'm thankful that you and I are still friends, despite the fact that I am a terrible person who is complaining about people being happy.

What's on your list, besides the obvious?


*I want to be really super clear right up front that I am not actually talking about any specific friend or collection of friends here. There are so many of these posts flooding my news feed that my eyes glaze over and I don't even pay attention to the content or the post-er. So really, none of this is about you, person-I-probably-just-offended. 

2010 Books in Review

It's official: I read 62 books in 2010.

Note: See my 2008 books here and my 2009 books here. 

62 books. Awesome. I think only one of these was a young person book, too.

There was a noticeable decline in reading (heh...and blogging) in November and December - most of my free attention went toward Christmas knitting. I did a boatload of Christmas knitting.

There are other books that I started but put down. Probably half a dozen or so.

I think I'll aim for 75 in 2011!



How many books did you read in 2010? Did you start but not finish any?


and now for the list, with stars by my favorites:

• Simple Abundance *
• The Worst Noel
• How to Spell Chanukah *
• Permission to Speak Freely
• Evolving in Monkey Town
• The Caliph's House *
• the Unlikely Disciple
• Churched: One Kid's Journey Toward God Despite a Holy Mess *
• God of Old
• Sh*t My Dad Says
• Unexpectedly, Milo
• My Fair Lazy
• Anagrams
• Other People's Rejection Letters
• The Stupidest Angel
• Model
• The Irresistible Henry House *
• Through a Dog's Eyes
• Hotel Pastis
• Glory, Passion and Principle
• Pride & Prejudice *
• Reading the OED: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages
• Bright Lights, Big Ass
• The Help *
• Extreme Simplicity (portions)
• Watermelon
• Bread Alone
• Japanese Women Don't Get Old Or Fat
• The Imperfectionists *
• Body Clutter
• A Severe Mercy
• Pretty in Plaid
• Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married
• Moving On
• Love Busters
• This is not the story you think it is
• A Woman's Guide to a Simpler Life
• Meet My Preacher's Wife
• Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage *
• The Hidden Art of Homemaking *
• Which Brings Me To You: A Novel in Confessions
• Sink Reflections
• The Writing Diet *
• Pitching My Tent
• Hear No Evil *
• All New People
• Jarrettsville *
• Number the Stars
• Home Is Where the Wine Is *
• Sacred Influence
• Tim Gunn's Guide to Style
• Eating Mindfully
• The Year of Living Biblically
• The S e x-Starved Wife
• You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning
• Healing for Damaged Emotions
• Nothing Was the Same
• Cleopatra's Daughter *
• Confessions of an Honest Wife
• Eat That Frog
• People of the Book *
• The Glass Castle

Note: None of these links are affiliate links. Because Amazon hates Colorado. 

Some things I'd like to do in 2011

I'm not much for New Years Resolutions, mostly because I don't find it necessary or particularly motivating to start something at the beginning of a year. If I need to start doing something, I start doing it. January 1 is arbitrary. For me at least.

But this coming new year feels a little different to me. I've begun to think about what 2011 could mean for me, professionally, individually and maritally. I have a lot of ideas. And what happens when I get a lot of ideas? I make lists.


Home/Work Life
I'm back at home, with a vision for what being 'at home' means to me. Taking care of my home and my little family - me included - has become important to me. Yes, these are things that I've always valued and felt drawn toward, but right now I am feeling an urge to prioritize home life - to devote my energy and a large part of my days to holding down the fort. Sustaining this is also important to me. I want to find some work this year, yes, but I know now that I want to be working from home. Freelancing is an obvious first step in that direction, as is looking for work-from-home positions. I may also look at smaller side hustles like Etsy. And I have a few other small and medium projects on file too - mostly involving liquidation of assets (in other words, I'll be in charge of selling our car, our spare washer and dryer, and some high-end clothing that it turns out I like to look at but never wear).

To that end, there are some specific things I think I'd like to do this year:

• Finish unpacking from our move 3 months ago, for the love of Pete
• Set up the 'man cave' so that it looks like an actual man cave, and not a girly collection of miscellany (first step: get a rug that isn't pink and swirly)
• Repaint the guest bathroom (and take down the wooden hand-painted shells tacked on the walls...)
• Revamp my ailing professional website. Maybe even come up with a logo (gasp!) And then put the she-bang to use.
• Flex my bulky but unused social media muscles.
• Find a nice balance of minimalism/simplicity and organized abundance at home.

Health

Brian has been going to the gym pretty steadily for oh, maybe 6 weeks now? He is being proactive. It's starting to show, too. I really admire him for doing this. I've thought about shelling out a second membership to go to the gym with him. It's fairly frequently that he tells me he's heading to the gym and it occurs to me that, hey, I could go to the gym now too and not be too bothered by it! But then I wonder if that $25 a month could be put to better use, when I have walking shoes and a bike (not to mention a few workout dvds) that are already paid for. To increase our food budget to include grass-fed beef and free-range chickens. To go to the Chiropractor and/or get the monthly massages that keep my hip and shoulder in working order (because what good is a gym membership if it hurts too much to walk there, and then it hurts too much to do anything with the upper body?). To take a ballet class instead. We have to make these choices more carefully now. 

Same goes for food. We need to make more deliberate choices. And a large part of my role in that is making sure we have good options on hand. I also want to do even more cooking at home. This year may be the year of mastering high altitude bread-baking. There are some things I've always wanted to do in the kitchen, and now is as good a time as any to make that happen (hello, New England Clam Chowder Served In A Bread Bowl). This year may also be the Year of the Garden. If I can work up the nerve.

So here's the next part of the list:

• Bake consistently good bread. Primary targets include sandwich bread that Brian will eat, and dinner rolls.
• Reach for healthful snacks and lunches more often than less good options. 
• Grow, and then eat, something. Maybe a few different kinds of somethings. 

Money and Travel

Because no amount of introspection is done without consideration of The Bottom Line, I of course have a section on money here. It's not that detailed yet - I feel like we are still in a financially shifting stage of life right now, so setting big goals there isn't something I want to do. I did come across the 20 Financial Milestones to Reach in Your 20s, though, and I'm looking to them for guidance. I'll share the specifics here when I figure them out, in case you're interested. 

But really what our financial goals will boil down to is likely to be "Save for Traveling." We are going to Israel in June, and saving up to pay for it in cash - a goal made doable only because the church is paying for Brian's trip. Brian is also hoping to go to Haiti in March, which may be fully or partially covered by the church as well. We've recently been invited to a destination wedding in Costa Rica(!!!) in the fall, which we are hoping to swing without dipping into savings. If the Costa Rica trip doesn't pan out, I think I'm going to put together a little road trip to Austin, TX. I may even go to Vegas in a few weeks with my mom and her friend, depending on how some 'professional inquiries' shake out (I've never been to Vegas, have you?).

I love the prospect of traveling. We haven't had a chance to do much of it in our 3 years of marriage. We had our belated honeymoon in Hawaii, we had a fun road trip moving out to Colorado, and there were other road trips from the home base in Richmond, but those were all to see family, rather than pure, raw vacationing. So having these trips on the horizon is really exciting. And hey, if we can put away 4 Grand in 10 months to go to Israel, maybe we can keep saving at that same rate and finally get to Ireland in 2012. I traveled a lot with my family before I went to college, and Brian has a big travel bug too. It's good for us and our marriage to get out of town whenever we can.


And then I'm reminded: we have student loans. And maybe we should focus on paying those down faster, not on taking these trips everywhere. And there are other things we need to be thinking about too, like retirement accounts (uh...we don't really have those yet) and saving up to pay cash for a car in the event that we need one (the Highlander is coming up on 10 years old). It will probably be a while before it would make sense for us to buy a house (have you priced houses in Denver lately?) so a down payment is not even on the radar yet. We live below our means and build our general savings every month on top of the Israel trip savings, but is that good enough? This is the year to figure it out.

So with all of that rambled said, the third prong of things to do in 2011 is as follows:

• Fund Israel trip with cash - enough cash to bring home a really special thing or two
• Take one other trip in the fall
• Contribute to Brian's 403(b) and open an IRA for me
• Develop a budget that both of us can stand, and stick to it

Random Misc

Every time I've moved, I pack more boxes than I'd care to admit labeled "Random Misc." It started in college, before I realized that the phrase is redundant, and the label has stuck. These are the boxes that rarely, if ever, get unpacked. I'm pretty sure that the reason I was able to unpack every single box from our move out here a year ago is that we had packers for that move, and none of their boxes were labeled 'random misc.' But, what's a list of things to do without a little bit of random miscellany thrown in?

Here are some of the other random things I'd like to do this year: 

• Take a class in something. ballet, pottery and foreign language are top contenders
• Dig into my 'special' yarn and fabric stashes and start making things with them
• Make butter and see if it's worth it
• Get someone else to help me decorate (any volunteers?)
• Make curtains for the tall, skinny, off-center window over the bed
• Read 52 books - one for each week of the year. Unless it turns out I read more than 52 books this year, in which case, read more books this year than last year. 

comment on this post!

I recently ruminated on some of the high dollar questions that have been rolling around in my mind lately. I thought I could dig for answers and remain engaged here at this blog. I've been rethinking that, though, and for a few different reasons.

I've outlined a few of the talking points in my head below, with reasons to STAY (here at this blog) and to GO. Lists are my favorite organization tool, so I guess it's natural that I'd employ one here

First off, I find it valuable to work through some things in writing, and this is my go-to place for that. I have a lot of things I'm working through right now, so I know the desire to write is going to crop up.

• STAY: Beyond the exercise of writing sharing, I find value in the input I get from the little community here, too. 

Second, I've been boning up on social media and blogging smarts for the past year-ish. While I've been learning, I've never implemented many of the would-be-necessary changes here. To be honest, I never really wanted the pressure of building, and reaching, a huge audience. This space is, first and foremost, meant to be a low-key web log, not a money-maker.

Given that, I'm thinking about taking a bigger step. Things are happening in my life, and I can't help but wonder if my (anticipated) months-long question and answer session might be of any value to people like me. I have the know-how to promote a blog, now, and the mojo to write content that I think might be worth sharing.

• GO: A fresh start might be good. A lot of what's going on in my head is of a consistently serious nature, which isn't what I've generally presented here at Sidetracked. I'd move to Wordpress and get an address that is more reflective of the struggles I'd plan to document. Insert delusions of wide audiences and general grandeur here.
• STAY: There's nothing wrong with making changes to this blog. If I'm growing and changing, wouldn't it be better to do that here, where I've been documenting growth and changes for years? Besides, I'm in the process of moving my professional site to Wordpress, and that's probably enough scratch to satisfy the new platform itch.

Third is a little more complicated. I read books and highly successful blogs written by people who went through, and are continuing, the process I've just begun. My story is different from theirs, of course, but I might have something to contribute to the conversation. While I don't really broadcast my identity here and I try to maintain privacy for anybody who is not me, Brian, or the dogs. I do know that my family reads here, as do some in-laws, and that people who know me in real life could sometimes identify folks in some of my entries. I think that's only natural.

Part of what I'm wrestling with and would like to share, if I commit myself to a focused blogging effort (which is increasingly becoming my inclination), invovles family stories. There are things that are integral to my journey, and if I really do decide to 'go for it' there are events that may be painful for my family to have broadcasted for public comment, and/or weird for my in-laws to know about or deal with. Then again, if I commit, I am all in. Some of my questions are direct results of my experiences, which involve other people and which must be plumbed if I'm to make any real progress.

Initially, I thought I could maintain Sidetracked here, and start an anonymous blog somewhere else - not telling my immediate family, and maintaining strict anonymity as a blogger. I've also tried to convince myself that what I write doesn't have to be 100% full disclosure, and I could omit some of the more unsavory facts. While this may be true and possible, the very 'unsavoryness' of some facts is a central issue. How can I tiptoe around them and still be honest?

• STAY: This is my blog, and the only person who gets decision-making abilities about content is me. My family's story is an integral part of my story, and if I need to wrestle with that part of my experience, so be it. As stated above, I value the input I receive as a result of writing here, through comments and personal interaction. Writing here could open the door for input from people who know me well and could offer pertinent advice. Also, maintaining two blogs, a professional site, and everything else I do (including an actual job!) is more than I care to juggle right now. The content here might suffer and what's the point of keeping the blog if it's going to be lame?
• GO: Being able to write anonymously, without the worry of familial reactions, could be freeing. Would that perceived freedom be worth the complication?

Lists of Five

Five People (Dead or Alive) I Would Invite to My Ideal Dinner Party (Catered)

1. Zooey Deschanel
2. My mom's mom
3. Harper Lee 
4. Michael W. Smith
5. Heidi Klum

Five Things I Like About My Body (Biologically Speaking)

1. I like my high, veiny former dancer arches
2. Hair
3. Ability to nap when it's too hot
4. Nebulous blue/green/brown eye color
5. hourglass figure! it's jumbo-sized right now, but it's there!

Five Things I Am Afraid Of

1. Tornadoes
2. Dying in a fire
3. Roaches
4. and Spiders
5. Melanoma

Five Books That Make Me Happy

1. To Kill a Mockingbird
2. Redeeming Love
3. Princess Bride
4. Simple Abundance
5. The American Heritage Dictionary (I love etymology!)

Five Impressions I Have Attempted

1. Brian
2. Marcus (my brother)
3. Backstreet Boys
4. anybody with a Scottish accent
5. "every person ever on tv or the radio" according to Brian

Five Things I Have Done at Work (Instead of Working)

1. Cried about how much I hated my life
2. Cried about how much I hated my job
3. Played the pirates game on facebook
4. Called my friend in another office so that we could both look busy and unavailable without actually being busy or unavailable
5. Made a meal plan for a week and a giant massive shopping list

Five of My Favorite Adjectives (Not Alphabetical)

1. (so) meaty
2. quixotic
3. resplendent
4. poop-brained
5. stupid

Five Awfulnesses I Would Eradicate Immediately, If Given the Opportunity and a Little Red Button

1. Water-borne diseases
2. Muscle spasms
3. Temperatures above 85 degrees wherever it is that I happen to be
4. Abusive fundamentalism
5. Cancer

Five Things I Wish I Had But Do Not

1. A pretty singing voice
2. 4-limb independence
3. Willpower
4. More papillons
5. A mortgage

Five Ways to Win My Eternal Affection, Eternally

1. Give me chocolate
2. Give me challah
3. Buy me books
4. Give me fabric and/or yarn
5. Did I mention chocolate?

Five Fails That I Enjoy Anyway

1. Bowling
2. Sewing
3. Re-telling jokes and funny stories
4. Dog ownership
5. Walking

My Five Favorite Expressions

1. allez cuisine!
2. whatever
3. your mom goes to college
4. dude!
5. your turn

Five Things I Will Be When I Grow Up

1. copy editor for the New Yorker
2. city dweller
3. friend of a famous person
4. wedding gown saleswoman
5. book shop owner

Five Things On My Life-Long To-Do List

1. hike into the woods and camp for a week
2. publish something
3. study Russian
4. own a bmw 3 series
5. see Japan

What's on your list?

Names of God

On and off throughout my Christian life, (which could easily be summed up as my whole life) I have taken passing interests in the names that various Christian cultures bestow upon God. Most of the time, these names were Hebrew in origin and were found in the Bible.

I recently joined my husband's Presbyterian church. The Presbyterian denomination began in Scotland, and as such, there is generally a denomination-wide emphasis on Celtic Christianity, Celtic expressions of worship, Celtic symbolism, etc. And as I have a Celtic history myself, I was particularly struck by an entry in a book I'm reading.

The book is called Moving On by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I've been reading the Simple Abundance daybook by the same author this year, so I thought I'd take a look at this book too. It's about home and approaching how to set it up in a way that is authentic to you and your family. It's a little more ethereal than what I usually read, but practical enough that I don't lose patience. Interesting stuff.

On page 29 of Moving On Ban Breathnach quotes Celtic Devotional: Daily Prayers and Blessings, a book on Celtic spirituality written (or perhaps compiled by?) by Caitlin Matthews. In this entry, Ban Breathnach mentions a few of the "many exquisite and descriptive" Celtic names of God. Check out this list, it's pretty cool:

Source of All Mystery
Gate of Gladness
Mother of Memory
Piercer of Doubt
Kindler of Hope
Keeper of Good Cheer
Ever Present Provider
Compassionate Listener
Guardian of the Hearth
Only Source
Ancient Dream
Glad Giver
Weaver of Wonder
Revelation of Evening
Teller of Tales
Queen of Quietness


A few of these really jumped out at me. First off, I like the acknowledgement of the feminine aspects of God. I grew up with a very masculine understanding of God, and it took me a couple years to get comfortable with the feminine aspects of Divinity and Love. Queen of Quietness especially make me smile a little bit, because it reminds me of my home, where it could be said that I am the queen of quietness.

I also like the notion of God being the Kindler of Hope. Hope is something that has been an important part of my mental and spiritual life. And there have been times when there was nothing I could do to kindle hope except to believe in God's faithfulness.


Funny aside: you'll often see a Celtic cross in the Presbyterian church - it's the one with the regular cross shape, and then a circle where the two lines intersect. There's a prominent one in our chapel. Our children's sermon the other day was discussing the Celtic cross as a symbol of Jesus going up to heaven and out into the world. When the kids were asked what the circle in the center of the cross might represent, one girl said, assuredly, that it's Jesus's head. Kids say the darndest things.


Now it's your turn. Did anything from the list of Celtic names for Divinity jump out at you? Why? If you're not a believer in divinity, what do you make of the different notions expressed?