disoriented

I'm feeling a little disoriented this Friday morning. Our Thanksgiving travel really threw me for a loop, capped off with a lavish Christmas extravaganza with my family that still leaves me a little bewildered (hello, new 15 inch MacBook Pro!). Good things, but I still haven't caught up.

I returned to work for what turned out to be a somewhat frustrating but productive three days, capped off with learning that my position is no longer needed and my last day is Dec. 23. 

Yeah. 

Surprised? Kinda. When I was brought on this summer, it was in an odd sort of 'temporary part time' thing to get the organization over the hump of two long-time staff people retiring this year. I worked 20 hours a week and we planned to re-evaluate my position at the end of the year when there was a better idea of what was needed. For a long time, it was expected (and assumed) that I'd be starting full time, or close to it, in January. 

Then three major things changed. And the leadership has recently had to reevaluate not only my position, but the direction of the organizational staff as a whole. With some projects axed and others reorganized, there ended up not being enough work for 3 admins, which meant one admin needed to go. And because I was decidedly low man on the totem pole, and I was in sort of a nebulous job anyway, I got the cut. 

I've been thinking about how to posit this on my resume. I wasn't fired. I might have been laid off, depending on how you define lay-offs (how do you define lay-offs, anyway?). But since the entire position and expected outcome were undefined from the get-go, I've decided to call it a long-term temp position that failed to materialize into a permanent placement. 

Sounds good, right?

To be honest, I've been stuck in a 'where do we go from here' loop since 2:30 yesterday afternoon. 

My paycheck helped us get ahead, financially. We'll have to tighten our belts and slow down our student loan payments, but as long as we're careful (and nothing goes horribly wrong) we'll still be able to meet our savings goals and continue to pay off our debt with Brian's salary alone. So money isn't exactly a worry - a frustration, maybe, but not a worry.

There are whispers of a new job at the national level of the nonprofit I left when we moved to Colorado. I will pursue it (and have already done some leg work), but I know I'm going to have some pretty stiff competition so I can't, or won't, count on it. If that job pans out, I'll likely have the month of January 'off' and will start working again in February. 

In the meantime, I need to revamp my professional site. I will either move it to Wordpress or I will re-do it in the web design software that came with my new laptop. I'll have to get a feel for that to see if it has what I want (or need) for SEO. I'll start advertising and seeking clients, and developing a niche market for myself a la Ramit Sethi (who is brilliant, by the way). 

All in all, I'm ok with how this has turned out. I've added some cool stuff to my work experience, which will serve me in personal and professional endeavors in the future. I've also been wondering lately what exactly I would be doing at my job, because it's seemed like there wasn't a whole lot for me, so wrapping it up was kind of a surprise but not really. I'm really happy to be back at home primarily, and I feel much more equipped to make something of myself as a freelancer than I was a year ago.

Today, Friday, is my usual day off. I plan to finish decorating, do some more unpacking and organizing (because we still aren't really settled here, three months in) and find some blue string lights for our tree, which is going to have a new 'theme' this year. That's the plan, at least. Later today there's a luncheon for the sewing ministry at the church (we make baby baptism quilts) so I've got some baking to do for that. 

And then, I'm going to come home and take care of my house, and my dogs, and my husband. Because that's what I like to do best.