1.08.2010

coffee, etc.

I have never liked coffee. I have never liked mocha, or coffee-flavored ice cream, or tiramisu. I have always, however, liked coffee shops, and hot teas, and the coffee drinkers these shops serve (Starbucks not included - I get headaches in there for some reason).

On this date two months ago, we packed up our car and our dog (we only had one dog back then) and began our cross-country journey from Richmond, VA, to Denver, CO. Brian had just finished seminary and was about to start work at a church out here. I was facing a new first for me - being a housewife. We got married while he was in school, and I worked to support us. The plan for when we got out here was for me to get everything unpacked and then start bringing in some web-based income from home quickly, as a freelance proofreader and editor (and YES, I am for hire NOW! and YES, I DO edit theses/manuscripts/articles/resumes/blog posts!). Quickly hasn't happened as quickly as I had hoped (see posts tagged Rory) but it is coming, and I imagine that once work starts rolling in, I might spend some time in coffee shops. Especially when the weather gets nice, and I can sit outside with the dogs.

I haven't found my coffee shop here in Denver yet, but that's ok. Moving was expensive, and Christmas was expensive, and Eli had to have four digits worth of dental surgery, and all three of those things happened within about 6 weeks of each other, and I am still working on amassing a winter wardrobe (it is 0 degrees outside according to my thermometer) and we just plum don't have play money right now.

I've got plenty to keep me busy, though. Designing a website, for one. Setting up our home, for another. And then there are the dogs, who need feeding, and grooming, and training (lots of training) and walks and potty breaks outside (where it is 0 degrees) every 10 minutes or so, and cuddles and pets and ice cubes.

Busy hasn't proven to be quite the wonderful thing for me, though. I am lucky if I talk to a non-family member more than once a day (I'm counting librarians and grocery checkout people in that number) and, while I am fairly introverted, I am also very lonely right now. I send lengthy responses to 'hey what's up' emails; I linger on the phone a little too long; and the mail man (whose name is Jim) might be the closest friend I've made out here so far. Don't get me wrong - I have made some wonderful friends at church and I know those relationships will grow, but we rocketed right into the holidays when we got here, and everyone was busy doing holiday things. There was lots of good cheer to go around, but a shortage of the 'let's get together this week' kind of thing. So I have found myself doing a little bit of that one thing I thought I would never do, or need to do: finding community online.

One of my very very favorite blogs is called Home Sanctuary. I can't say enough good things about it, and I imagine that a large portion of folks who are reading these words came here because of Rachel Anne and Home Sanctuary. I've only recently begun commenting and reading the blogs of other visitors to Home Sanctuary, but I am so encouraged by linking with other women like me. And, I feel a little less lonely.

WELCOME! to any visiting Company Girls. And to my friends who are reading - please leave a comment and let me know you were here. I could use a little wave, some friendly words, and maybe your best joke on hand :)

In the meantime - I have some new girlfriends to call and some little get-togethers to try to set up. I hope you have a great day today and a good weekend ahead. Happy Friday!!

24 comments:

  1. I want to find a nice coffee shop her in my town for a weekly planning/retreat session, but i want a nice cute independent one rather than one of the big chains. hmmmmmmm, no luck so far!

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  2. After two and a half years in a new place, I'm thankful for the friendships that have grown. The first year was difficult, so hang in there. But on the plus side, I had more time to haunt thrift stores for bargains on clothes. I even wrote a how-to-shop article as a result! Thanks for reminding me about coffee shops. I love the atmosphere, but like you, not the coffee. Maybe I should go to one (instead of just grocery shopping) after the kids are alseep. =)

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  3. Ashley,

    Moving can be so difficult! I am sure, though, once the dust settles from the holidays, things will start to flow. Have you checked Hiremymom.com for writing listings? They always had listings for writers/editors on their site.

    And as for Company Girls, aren't they (we) great? We are glad you are with us! Drop me an email anytime if you want to connect (cari@gps4life.net)..

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  4. Welcome to Company Girl! We are so glad to have you and would be happy to serve as your interim support system! I went through a similar struggle a few years ago...surrounded by people and yet very alone. I read an article about how isolated people are these days, especially women, and how, while men find a lot of friendships in the "outside" world, women traditionally had quiltings, cannings, etc. where they found true friendship and we just don't have that anymore. I found blogging to be my "quilting" time!

    Of course you need friends physically close to you as well, but this really is a great community! Hoping things get better soon! Blessings!

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  5. I have a few Denver connections.. I'll have to ask my friend who lived there for a while what her favorite hang-out places were. My brother and sister in law also live there and are dog lovers so they might know some good doggie areas or things like that.

    I also met my husband in Denver so it's a place that holds a special place in my heart :)

    Moving so far away can be hard. I definitely can relate. I'm an Oregonian living in North Carolina. :)

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  6. I'm glad you're a coffee company girl now, and you know what, I'm just down the road (well, I-25) from you in the Springs. Transitioning never seems to go as planned, but I, too have found that bloggie world is quite nice in helping! Hope that as things settle down and people get back into routine that you'll find your niche and start feeling more at home. Praying!

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  7. I just started doing the small things at "Home Sanctary", too.

    Moving is hard. (We just moved in November.) But hang in there, it will get better!

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  8. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm new to the Company Girl thing, too.

    As for your loneliness, I can relate. We were a military family, but occasionally we'd get posted at the back of beyond and I'd be pretty much all alone for a while until I got my feet under me.

    I say, make the effort to get out of the house. While I adore my online friends, and would have lost my sanity many times over without them, you NEED to have people around you.

    Church, a book group, a writer's group, anything where you can connect with real human beings is a must.

    I'm a coffee fiend, myself, so I've always enjoyed going into bookstores, buying a latte and hanging out in the stacks to browse the titles.

    Good luck as you settle in! And hope you get lots of freelance jobs!

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  9. Hi, Ashley! Thanks for stopping by today. I like your writing and your honesty. It is difficult to be the new girl--especially a pastor's wife. (I have a good friend who is one.) It really just takes some time to get over that lonely feeling. I have moved a lot, though not recently, and I remember how excited I was when I finally felt I had a friend to call that wasn't long distance! Keep putting yourself out there, and it will happen. Good luck! I have a feeling you'll do great.

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  10. Sounds like a great new adventure!! Praying it's a great year for both of you!

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  11. just thought id remind you that...I LOVE YOUUUU and i shall be to denver soon...ish to visit ;-)

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  12. How wonderful to have you over at Home Sanctuary. I, too, moved from one state to another...no family, no friends. It takes time, but soon you will find yourself involved with church and other groups and forming new friendships.

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  13. Oh my! My hubby and I met in Richmond (VCU grads). Miss it terribly. And now you live somewhere we long to live one day- Colorado.

    Changes like you've experienced are truly tough. But until you make lots of friends, which I'm sure you will. We'll keep you company!

    Thanks for visiting me on my blog too.

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  14. I wrote a comment but I guess it didn't "take". Anyway, thanks for stopping by my blog. We Company Girls are quite a group now.

    I appreciate your transparency. I'll pray you feel "knit in" soon and find a good friend up close and personal, as they say. Till then, keep "quilting" in blogland and you'll probably find a few gals you really like the "hang with." Let's see if I can use any more slang in one comment.

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  15. We moved in August, and I definitely know what that loneliness feels like. Hurray for online community!

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  16. Welcome to the fold, Ashley! A lot of us are in the same boat as you when it comes to online friends...in my case, since I still have teens at home, getting together with people my age is difficult cause they're all getting close to retirement!...or at least at the empty nester stage!..I'm sure as time goes on that you'll make lots of 'physical' friends to go with your online friends!

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  17. Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog today, Ashley! I live in Colorado Springs...so not too far. I am sure that it must feel lonely moving this time of year...I think calling a few sounds like a great idea...sometimes the new guy has to take the initiative. Go girl! And if you are heading down here at all...we can meet up!

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  18. I enjoy Home Sanctuary too! I've had lots of moments like the ones you described lately. Hang in there!

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  19. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm going through something like that right now too. It's just Noah and me right now, and with Brad working odd hours, it gets pretty lonely. Brad wanted to wait till Noah is 6 mos old before trying out a church trip. Hopefully I can find some other new moms there to hang out with. Hang in there! It'll get better eventually! My coworker's daughter moved to TX from NC and she was miserable for the first few months, but then made some friends and now loves it there. It'll also be easier when it's not so darn cold out too!

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  20. I know exactly what you're talking about. We up and moved across the Bay almost 2 years ago. Hubby lived in San Francisco his whole life and I've been attending our church for my life. It was hard to move, but commuting to church was difficult and it shouldn't be a difficult thing. It has been hard growing in the relationships at our new church because everyone there basically has grown up there. Take it one day at a time. Welcome to Company Girl Coffee! I'm not a big coffee drinker...mostly tea these days to keep myself awake, but I love water. Have a great weekend!

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  21. Hi Ashley! And welcome to the Company Girls! I know exactly what you're going through. I moved to Chicago to marry my honey and strike out on a freelance writing career. It is hard to get going, and I can relate to loneliness. I was lonely a lot our first year here, but it does get better. And talking to librarians and grocery checkout people totally count as conversations! Especially librarians: they are every writer's secret weapon.

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  22. I just joined Company girls as well...it's great to know that there are others out there!! I'm sure that you will be making friends soon if you just remain open, honest, and sweet as you did in your post! :)

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  23. I grew up moving...Army Brat. I've moved a few times since I've been married too! One thing I can attest to...the Lord has always provided those friends who cry with me, laugh with me, and encourage me in the Lord. It does take time though. I pray you enjoy setting up your home and creating your new sanctuary! So glad you've joined the CG's too! Welcome!
    Blessings,
    LydiaCate

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  24. I came over from Company Girl Coffee. . .nice to meet you! Moving can be so stressful and lonely. . .and from what I understand Denver temperatures haven't been all that friendly this year. Hope those blue skies keep you happy! Nice to meet you. . .good luck with your new freelancing business.

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